Thursday, September 1, 2011

september sun.


Things that make me upset/things I don’t like:

-Criticism of any kind (even constructive)

-Feeling dizzy/faint

-Time pressure

-People in authority

-Being in the wrong

-People reading my writing (except S)

-Unspoken sadness/anger

-Paranoia

-Overwhelming tasks

-Being unable to grasp a concept, despite your best efforts

-People who are overly nice so it feels focused

-Unknown causes of distress (ie. when you can’t name the worry)

-Forgetting something

-Not completing something on a list of ‘things to do’

-When I am forced to talk to people who intimidate me

-Those days where I physically cannot look people in the eye

-Waking up in pain

-Studying in pain

-Becoming upset after prolonged pain

-Needles

-Avoiding topics

-Selective secrets

-When I am accidently a bitch and I don’t know how to make the moment better

-Unjustified blame

-When I have passive aggressive fights with people and all I want to do is cry

-“Your body is a battle ground”

-When people comment on your weight

-Utter exhaustion


Things that make me happy/things I like:

-4-lens photos

-Good weather

-Dancing to pop music

-Secret alcoves

-Boys who aren’t supposed to be attractive, but are

-Cappuccinos

-Letters from Swedan

-The colour teal

-Shared experiences with acquaintances

-Newly found eye-shadow

-Mermaids

-Alliteration

-Interesting shot-glasses

-Ireland

-BBC TV shows which I turn into autobiographies

-Recovery

-When my brother treats me like I am a person, rather than an opponent in mental rugby

-Watching someone’s face when they talk about their lover

-When the sisterly and motherly figures in my life re-emerge

-When you can say, “look at what we had” instead of “look at what we lost”


Things which are neither here nor there:

-Hysterical hand holding

-Sick bay becoming a strongly discouraged option

-Relationships that fade

-Dreading/anticipating Borneo

-When you fall asleep exhausted and don’t wake till morning

-The month of September

-Studying for psychology

-My bedroom

-My friend Jemima

-My weekend plans

-My distinct resentment to everything which is school

-Getting drunk

-My hair

-Both sets of grandparents

-Studying Chinese

-Balbasaw, the Pokemon

-Diamond cricket

-46