Friday, April 20, 2012

'something always brings me back to you.'

I thought I'd learnt to love the crazy. I was more than happy to take the high times with the lows.
And even if at a huge personal cost, I would have gladly kept on going. I have never felt happier than I was in January of this year. Waking up with exciting, not scary. Seeing you every day was full of joy and although life was shit, it was also manageable. I thought it could only get better. We'd work something out to deal with the shit that both of us felt, and we'd support each other through it all.
Now everything is broken. I thought you were the one. Nothing had ever felt so right and no one made me feel as "at home" as you.

I thought people were just whiney when they talked about break-ups being painful. Come on, eat some ice cream and get over it! But it's not quite like that. I miss everything that you were in my life, I miss you at odd moments that only we would understand. Today I got a blood test and sobbed my heart out because a few months ago I wasn't nearly as scared. You held my hand and locked eyes with me and it was over so quickly. Needle phobia, ha! Sorry, I'm in love. 

Now I have no one to kiss it better, no one to admit my most embarrassing flaws in logic and no one to say goodnight to. My life is fucked without you.