Monday, June 25, 2012

I'm not loving you the way I wanted to.

I am exhausted but there is no rest when I get home, no relief upon waking. I just repeat the cycle; wake up, shower, walk to school, arrive at school, laugh a little, try to concentrate in class, walk home, avoid my parents, eat dinner, email, attempt homework, try to sleep, sleep.

 I'm waiting for something to be over (constantly anticipating disaster); I just can't work out what. Term 2? Year 12? 2012? My teenage years? Things to look forward to: Warrandyte with Maggie Moo, future drunk times with Fluffy + Lonely Boy (I've decided nerdy boys are easily my favourite), my parents going away, graduating from high school, plans after years 12, moving out, getting better...
"It’s so difficult to describe [depression] to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness, I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling—that really hollowed-out feeling. That’s what Dementors are." J.K. Rowling