Monday, August 13, 2012

I've decided that I like my cognitive distortions.

The (only) good things right now:
-Walking to school with hot organic chai and all the certainties (Wales St primary crossing man will tell me the weather forecast, the dog man will curtly nod as I walk through All Nations, the Santa girls will rudely look me up and down, High St is for fixing my hair and as I walk down the hill the year 9 girls who hold hands will laugh with ribbons in their hair and the lanky boy will try to avoid hitting his head on overhanging trees)
-Sitting with Highlighter Boy in maths (he doesn't care if I sleep on the table and cry when Ms Tiny asks me a question and when I am having a good day we chat about girls and interior design)
-Listening to Horrorshow between 8-9pm every night (I ordered their CD and sent their manager an email, I want to write them fanmail. Excessive? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely) 'collection' is growing. In Literature and Classics I sit in awe as images jump up from the page. I am constantly amazed by words. I think it is the most astounding thing to say something for the first tine, to record something forever, to say something which has never been said before. Isn't that the most beautiful legacy?
-Planning my coping mechanisms for the (mandatory) family holiday on Thursday. Borrowed my favourite book from the library (P's got my copy), going to read Vincent Van Gogh's collected letters, watch Offspring season 2 (thanks to Camelgirl), read all the examinable literature poems and go for runs every morning
-Emails/texts/sarcastic comments from Zhi Hui
Yes, people cause a great deal of anxiety at the moment, yes I want to throw up every time I'm alone in the car with one of my parents and yes I am supposed to do HOURLY exercises to avoid scar tissue developing on my finger joint. But yes, I am also copingjust. 

“I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” —Van Gogh
I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day.” —Van Gogh