Steps to seek justice for complete dickface ex-boyfriends:
1. Throw cheap beer on his pants (specifically the crotch area) or face
2. Hand him an envelope with the below note, calmly walk away
3. Continue to act normal - dance and have fun, look and feel attractive, talk with energy and passion. Ooze recovery.
Justice letter as follows:
Front (printed in thick black permanent marker): IF YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM, IT'S NOT CONSENT - sexual offences against adults generally require the prosecution to prove that the complainant did not consent to the sexual conduct. This is a matter for the jury to determine by reference to the complainant’s actual state of mind at the time the sexual conduct occurred—and, in some jurisdictions, by reference to whether that state of mind was reasonable. DO YOU THINK A SEVERELY SUICIDAL PERSON IS IN A REASONABLE STATE OF MIND? And that's ignoring the fact that I clearly said 'stop' and 'no'.
Back (written in messy cursive script, thick black pen):
Asshole // You really hurt me. I think you need to have a good look at why the girls you have sex with keep accusing you of rape...please don't treat anyone like that again. It is never okay to ignore the word 'no'.
Justice letter in an alternate universe:
(written in thick red ink and sealed with an old fashioned wax seal*)
Asshole // You are nothing more than a pretentious stereotype wrapped in a layer of self obsession and patronisation. The only thing you cared about was getting your dick sucked and your ego stroked; so you barely saw the person at serious risk of death, right before your eyes. Or maybe you did and you took advantage of that? All I know is that you make me sick and I never want to see you again. “I'm battling monsters, I'm pulling you out of the burning buildings / and you say I'll give you anything but you never come through.” —Richard Siken