Sunday, December 22, 2013

fifteen texts i almost sent you.



1. I left my favorite pair of underwear at your house. I know your mother hates me, can I come pick them up?
[delete]
2. It’s been almost a month and I still miss you like a fucking limb.
[delete]
3. I didn’t know my bones could ache until I met you.
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4. You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember? I had bought a book of poetry. You asked why I didn’t read something more interesting and I could feel my insides splinter.
[delete]
5. You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty. When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you too.
[delete]
6. It’s 3 a.m. and this alcohol tastes like you.
[delete]
7. I saw you staring at me today during Lit class. I smiled at you and you didn’t smile back. I almost cried.
[delete]
8. The girl who sits next to me smells like you.
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9. I miss you.
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10. I have never had so many bad nights.
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11. Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet. Strangers who have never met either of us think you’re cruel – they tell me if they had the honor of loving me, we’d have sex three times a day and they’d scream my name when they came.
[delete]
12. They think it is beautiful, how I am broken. I don’t think they understand.
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13. You used to tell me I was beautiful. I tried saying it in the mirror the other day, but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
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14. Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
[delete]
15. We were never in love, but, oh God, we could have been.
[delete]
  
D.A.S.