Monday, March 31, 2014

he’s often quite brilliant - just never had anything to tether him to the world.

1: What would you name your future daughter?
At the moment I really like the names: Billie, Piper and Evelyn; middle names would probably be: Lisele, Rosalie or Jolene
2: Do you miss anyone?

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
I'd say thank-you (but probably not believe it)
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
Twice - and in both cases I think it was a bit of both, it's a line used to end things for the wrong reason but the right motive
5: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
Starting my Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training course
6: Did you go out or stay in last night?
Stayed in my new place for the first time
7: How late did you stay up last night?
10.30pm (which felt like a marathon)
8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
Yes, but just my friends in change-rooms and probably a few nurses
9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
Signing forms so I can apply for jobs in childcare
10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
Sure - tons of times (it happens with my family more than I like to admit)
11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Easily! I hate the stuff
12: Have you pretended to like someone?
Plenty of times in primary school, and probably less consciously with my first boyfriend

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Easily - emphysema doesn't agree with me
14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
The kids I babysit, L & S
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
Yes - it feels like I'm the walking wounded
16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
Yes - thank fuck (I don't think it's healthy to date after sexual assault, any sexual intimacy just feels like self harm)
17: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
I don't think so; I don't get mad very often and so crying is always associated with sadness to me
18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
Not really, maybe Miss Clare while we crossed a busy road
19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
Nope, just a grungy ugly club (see Q16)
20: Who did you last see in person?
My new flatmates Martha and Milly, other than that, probably miss Kit-Cat and family last night
21: What is the last thing you said out loud?
That's so cool - gosh I'm lame!
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
Nope, not something that particularly interests me
23: Have you ever been to Paris?
Yes, I liked it at the time but looking back, it's a bit overrated
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Mostly, I'm trying to stop hiding altogether though
25: Do you use chap stick?
When I can remember to pack it in my bag

26: Who did you last share a bed with?
It's been months and months since I've shared a bed - probably Zhi Hui's sister because I didn't want to sleep alone and my palpitations were really strong
27: Are you listening to music right now?
Yes, a mix CD my cousin made for me when I was in hospital
28: What is something you currently want right now?
A new black skirt, my old one keeps getting washing machine fluff stuck to it and doesn't look very flattering
29: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
Unsure what counts as three separate kisses...if it means on different days, then no
30: How is your heart lately?
Better - but still broken
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
Not unless it's raining or I'm at the beach
32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
Last night saying goodbye to Kit-Cat's brothers
33: What do people call you?
Eri, sometimes other personal nicknames
34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn't?
All the fucking time
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
See above
36: What are you listening to right now?
Unsure (my cousin forgot to put track listings), the main chorus is something about monsters in my heart
37: What is wrong with you right now?
Physically? Sore tummy. Mentally? My stupid busy brain
38: Love really is a beautiful thing, huh?
I guess so...but the phrasing of this question is too irritating to answer
39: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
I used to do this all the time when I was dating P - I've tried to stop since
40: What is on your wrists right now?
My pink watch (bet this question was implying scars, sort of proud that I can't say anything on this subject)
41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?
Happily single, awaiting the strength to take my ex-boyfriend to court
42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?
My cousin bought it for me; it's three ducks in a basket because duck was my first word as a baby
43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
So many kiss related questions!
44: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Plenty of people (most memorable one was probably Felly for her 18th birthday, she was so greatful and loving)
45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
Again with the kissing...
46: What were you doing at midnight last night?
47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
Hell no! - six months ago I'd just gotten out of acute hospital care and could barely eat a bowl of cereal, let alone enroll in uni, search for jobs or fight for the future of others like me
48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
Probably alone because I can toss and turn as much as I like; also I have weird sleep routines which are kind of embarrassing to explain to others
49: Have you ever been to New York?
No - but I would like to visit (on my way to Boston of course)
50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
It was my dad, so probably yes