Friday, April 25, 2014

you use your words as a weapon, my dear.


Dear Zhi Hui,
I know I shake when you forget how to speak and I feel like the world's ending every few weeks. I know that sometimes what I say and how I feel don't match up, and this confuses you. I know that I loved you a little too much. I know everything really hurts right now. I hope you know that I would have done anything for you. I hope you know that I will always be thankful for the time we had together, even if it doesn't seem like that right now. I hope you know that you are the only reason I've got stars and flowers on my arms and not thick unsightly scars. I hope you know that you were the one who gave me hope when I couldn't bear another day. I know we're fucked up. I know that sometimes I made you feel too much, all at once. I hope you know that I'm sorry. I hope you know that I see you in everything. I hope you know that it's okay. I hope you know that you were there for a special time in my life. I hope you know that I think you're wonderful even if you're broken (healing) or not very strong. I hope you know that I think you're every watercolour and every warm breezy day and every single pavement clickety-clack. I hope you know that you were my first experience of boundless love. I hope you know that it's okay that you let me go (I've let you go too).
Love from, E. xx

Adapted from a blog post by Sophie.