Wednesday, December 10, 2014

it will get better, but it will never be perfect.


Today is a sad day. Garnet lost her step dad two weeks ago to suicide. Today was his funeral.

Mulvey was a firefighter. He was from England. He wasn't suffering from mental illness (as far as we can know). It was sudden and painful and raw.


It's been hard to support Garnet since. She's my oldest friend apart from Magnus and I've known her step dad for over ten years (half of my life).


The parallels of survivor/bereaved is challenging and the deja vu of this-could-have-been-me is still all too real.


I'm doing my best to be there for her. I've called, written letters and visited. I've spoken to support services on her behalf.


But it's not enough because we're still here and he's not. And words like selfish, cruel and thoughtless are used instead of shocking, tragic and suffering.


-


Letter to Garnet (edited for clarity sake):


Basically, you don’t have to use any of this because the main message I want you to take away is: you have options. There are tons of services which can be available to you for years to come. So don’t feel like you have to do anything (work, schools, friends) until you feel ready.


The biggest thing I've learnt over the last year and a half is: you have time. Whether that be for several months of breakdowns or a few years pissing about in Asia because #YOLO. There is nothing you can’t put off or do later if you don’t feel like doing it now.